verAre you really the hero of your story?
Conversations with an ENTP
December 22, 2024 | Typology In Practice | Rob Dinh
Rob: Do you need to be clear about what's true or false in order to form your own thoughts and opinions?
ENTP: Yes, absolutely, I like to constantly perfect or update my thoughts with different points of view. I also like to see qualified sources, many sources. I never stick to just one. In fact, there’s a limit to what seems not sensible or normal to me. I mean my opinion on something can easily change if someone questions it or if what they say seems sensible. But I wouldn't take their opinions 100%.
Rob: Do you have a hard sense of morals or stubbornly stand for what you believe in? Do you treat your feelings as if they're facts, like you know what can work or not work for you?
ENTP: I don't know what we call morality, but there are things that seem bad to me since they negatively affect me. I’m not one to stubbornly defend what I believe. Generally, I always suggest how things seem to me. I wouldn't say the bad attitudes of others bother me deeply, but I would point it out, perhaps I do the same but not in such a bold way.
I like to maintain a certain harmony, you know, like having fun. Maybe if they had a problem, I would be more interested in the solution than how they feel, no matter how many times I ask, because time has taught me that it is all about the human attitude lol.
Rob: What do you mean by "human attitude"?
ENTP: Human attitude is to show some attention to the feelings of others. But I'm not interested in how they feel. I like to explore suggestions about what I could do. I would usually give my own advice on what I believe and if the other person explored it, it would be more fun for me too.
Rob: Ah OK, so exploring suggestions and solutions looks to be more about getting better informed or seeing a different perspective. And that'll change the attitude. Do you tend to self-reflect about your place in the world?
ENTP: I usually reflect on my attitudes in times of stress or when I feel bad, but not like “my place in the world.” But we all want to be something, ya know? I have a long list of aspirations for myself. I think I like my progress like any.
I’m not clear about who I am in some respects, there are many things that change. I experience feelings like wanting to be liked or fearing losing (like a family member) rather than because of the mere fact of feeling.
Rob: Would you say your opinions and worldview are what makes you you?
ENTP: What do you mean?
Rob: Hmm… Like your opinions and worldview is what makes you unique in the eyes of others, and also, intrinsically, that's what gives you your own sense of self and place in the world.
ENTP: I don’t know, I had never thought about it. Many of my opinions are formed by what I believe and a little of the opinions of others. Perhaps my opinion on something together with another opinion that I hear makes me create a different point that I like more than the previous one. I don't know if I have a “vision of the world.” My vision of the world today could be one thing, and tomorrow another.
Rob: And how do you figure out what to believe in? That it can be proved and sensible? Or if it’s true, should they reveal themselves?
ENTP: I really don't know what to believe, I don't have a very defined idea of things, abstractly speaking. Obviously, there are things that are the way they are. Maybe some things that make sense to me are not illogical to a certain point, but I could explore them anyway.
I didn't understand the part about things that should be “revealing”.
Rob: Like if things should be plain obvious, like they are the way they are, and that's easy to believe in. Other things that don't seem obvious, you could look more into them, but probably won't go to any length because that may seem needlessly complicated to even be applicable.
ENTP: I could apply things even without trusting whether they would work or not (as long as it doesn't cause me loss of money or things like that). I usually make my own framework of understanding like what works, what could work, or even what could be improved, if that answers the question.
I run a transport company. One time, a driver had a problem with the police over some papers. He had the idea of falsifying a document. And while he told me his idea, I was thinking about all the variables that could go wrong, including hypothetical scenarios. That's how I often do them in those types of contexts. I'm generally not sure what course I might take, but I give my suggestions.
Many times when I talk to someone, I think about what the other person might think about what I am telling them and things like that. But it’s not like I’m telepathic, I mean variants of their interpretation.
Rob: Like scenarios of how things or sets of actions could go down?
ENTP: Exactly. This could happen, that could happen, maybe that person would think this and that, etc… But I wouldn’t take any course of action. That part wouldn’t interest me because it’s too linear.
Rob: Right, so it's like you have a general idea of how the person is, and you can think on the spot of the multiple ways they could go about things. They'll go one way, and you can follow along, rinse and repeat.
ENTP: Something like that. But when I try to explain what I think, like “I came to this conclusion because of this…,” it bores me.
Before this whole idea of what my type is, I used to spend my days on business ideas or living day to day. I mean, I’ve been thinking about it all day 24/7 for 5 months.
Maybe it's because I'm interested in getting to know who I am. I've never spent so much time reading about the same topic. I’m interested in accurate information, but it may be because it’s about me, my integrity, and even my character. I would have an identity crisis not knowing my type, it’s been really obsessive lol.
Rob: So far it’s clear that how you develop your logical side is by researching from external sources and building your own methods from them. You like to constantly perfect your understanding or update it from many different perspectives. In other words, it’s like “sculpting” or “carving” your understanding so that it’s solid enough.
ENTP: Yeah, my opinion or idea about something could change for another if the next idea is better than the original. The next idea is a mix between the old and the new with a personal touch.
Rob: Yet, looking over at your own thought process, or anybody else’s, can be kind of a drag. It seems like there’s a much higher preference to do something or apply knowledge, than thinking about the thinking itself.
ENTP: WAIT THIS IS SO ACCURATE LOL BUT I DON’T KNOW IF IT IS. Can you explain more, please?
Rob: So each type has 2 sorts of attitude.
One you have good control of. You engage with it, get creative, it’s dynamic, and it’s more fun. If you’re an extrovert, these are your extroverted functions, like NeFe for ENTP. You get to interact with people, instill certain thoughts and experiences. The whole thing about molding identity, experience, and harmony is here. Since it’s extroverted, it’s mainly associated with something external. Who you are, or where you direct people to set their minds towards, is mainly defined by the present context. Like being a fan of your local sports team, and then becoming a fan of another if you move somewhere else, or get yourself and people onboard to follow a trend or get on a train towards the future.
The other you don’t have much control of. If anything, it controls you. You observe it, you follow it, it’s static, and it’s like the very foundation of how you think or a reality check. These are SiTi for ENTP. Like before you even put yourself towards a trend, you have to make sure you understand it. See if things add up and make sense before you believe in them. It’s an internal voice that tells you to do things a certain way. It’s like a boss giving you instructions, so you want to make sure you’re interpreting them right and know what to do. You don’t question your boss. So that can come out as boring, or overly unnecessary. The point is that it has to be clear and concise, otherwise that’s not a good boss. Sometimes you might have to do your boss’ job, but that’s usually when you feel forced to do it, like if nothing really makes sense, you might have to come up with your own thinking.
ENTP: Rob, you are a genius. I identified a lot with what you wrote. I was observing dynamics in my group of friends with me:
Two friends and I were going to get coffee at a mall. I suggested one I knew, and they looked at things like how many people, the view, the attention, etc… I just wanted coffee and the place I already knew seemed good to me. I noticed that I always pick something I already know, just because it was comfortable for me. But I have no problems going to any other place, contrary to those who cared about those details.
I order the same burger every time, a double cheeseburger with a large diet soda. I guess I could order something else, but in fact I always order without looking at the menu lol
I notice other people’s body language. I mean I can think of many ideas about what it could be. I'm not sure about one, but I can navigate through options as well as when looking for a way to convince. Many times I could think of what to say based on what I think the other person might respond or think, and then I would say this hahaha. Is that also NeFe?
Rob: Yeap, you can say NeFe is your means and your skillsets. So all the body language stuff, opening people's minds to a certain perception, how they respond, sensing their situations emotionally... Like a problem is only defined as a problem by feeling like it is. A problem solved leads to a happy customer, or a better world. That's all Fe.
ENTP: I look at different aspects that could be linked to a situation or perhaps how it would evolve. But I wouldn’t be convinced that “it could be this or could be that, what if this or what if that, what about if this is something else.” I like to speculate on the results, except when it comes to my personal stuff like money and health. For these, I wouldn’t speculate and would prefer something stable.
I notice that I would suggest completely unorthodox or even radical solutions to other people's problems or situations, but I don’t know if I would follow my own advice in some respects lol
Rob: Now how you approach problems, like educating, laying information out in a clear way, “what if this what if that,” suggesting radical solutions are all SiTi. So, if NeFe is your skillset, SiTi is your set of instructions for how to build that harmony or that experience for yourself and others.
Si is a concrete proactive lens, it wants to see things clearly. All the questions you ask are all essentially "Instructions unclear, can you clarify this..." There needs to be that a-ha! dot-connecting moment in your brain to get that little dopamine your Si needs. And it's a microscope, so it wants to see all the little details and seek many perspectives even if they're a tiny bit different from each other. That proactivity is what allows you to be a step ahead.
Some ENTPs have such a strong SiTi, they always have that thirst to be the one who understands the situation more than everyone else. And it's thanks to going over every little Si angle that allows you to get into a situation without exactly knowing how something will happen (Se) but at least you have a general idea (Ne) and you won't be exactly surprised. Like we never really know what a newborn baby will look like, but we have an idea based on what the parents look like. It'd be a crazy surprise if the baby didn't look like them lol
The thing about SiTi is that it's still theoretical. So yes, the math checks out, but you might've never seen it happen before. And that can be unorthodox, and it's maybe more of a suggestion than advice. But Si is curious enough to see it happen anyway.
That curious thirst can feel out of your control though, sometimes you'll be so curious, and it latches onto your mind that that's the only thing you can think about, and then the next day it can be totally gone, or it wants you to be curious about something else.
ENTP: I love how you explain this 🙂↔️
Yup, that thing about “the idea that is the only thing I can think” sometimes happens to me completely when I try to understand something. Depending on the idea, it could last a whole day or even weeks lol.
How do you differentiate Se inferior from a Se demon and Si inferior from a Si demon? Like I tend to forget my keys, dates, and things like that; would these examples be Si inferior?
Rob: When you think about how the inferior function works, you'll see that you can't control it, it controls you. For many of us, doing anything outside the inferior function's demands is meaningless or venturing out into scary and dangerous territory. For example, Si has taken over your mind and directed you to learn or get clarity on something. You can't do anything unless you understand the idea well enough. Si only focuses on one thing at a time. You got your book you've been obsessing over, but you'll forget about your keys and other basic stuff.
Si inferior is like "god" against Se demon. Si wants to be prepared instead of diving into situations unprepared. It seeks to see the concrete patterns that encompass all possibilities so you have a clear idea moving forward. A developed Si gives Ne users the improvisational skills they’re known for.
Se, on the other hand, is very focused on making one specific thing happen exactly as Ni envisioned. It's about hammering through until it fits, or trying and failing until success is achieved. If Se users want to avoid constant failure, they need to be deeply in tune with the present moment, which they do and are known for. They figure things out on the spot.
Si doesn't believe in this linear approach. It prefers to be prepared for the unknown and knows how to navigate around obstacles, which is why Se is "demonized." You don't want life to be linear but need a consistent approach that accommodates the many ways reality can manifest.
That's what makes humans interesting! We follow patterns but also contradict ourselves. Ne-doms might seem like they're winging it, but they're not entirely—they're improvising with a sense of underlying structure. For many, it's not just having a clear understanding, but also having gone through a lot of experience.
ENTP: What an excellent explanation! Your explanations are one of the best I’ve ever read. I don't know if you like it when people tell you that. Personally, I like to give compliments and have to recognize a job well done. The comparison you made of Ne's information gathering until Si is “satisfied” is incredibly simple to understand. Are you a teacher or something like that?
I’ve considered INFJ. Is that possible based on your reading? What do you think? I was thinking, when jokingly teasing someone, I think about how the other person might interpret the joke or prank, and sometimes I change it, or even give up doing it lol. I can also imagine a certain type of response from them when I’m talking.
Rob: Thanks! It means a lot. I'm just trying to spread some good information on this stuff wherever I can.
Fe Child likes to be part of making the world a better place or at least contribute to its surroundings by following Ti Parent. ENTPs wouldn't want to spread misinformation, and it can be hard to let go of a situation when you know it could've been better if people were better informed.
Based on our convo, you definitely have more of an ENTP’s Fe than an INFJ’s. Of all the things you said earlier, about engaging with people, getting them to think a certain way and navigating through emotions… Connecting with people is natural to you. ENTPs don't need to figure out people's feelings because they already know what to do and what to say.
That's the complete opposite for INFJs. They're actually not natural with people at all. Their Fe is too sensitive to deal with people in the first place. What they care about is knowing where the boundaries are, so they know how to behave, and they expect other people to behave the same. So it's all about following the agreed rules so that society can run, and we don't tear each other apart. That's what harmony is to them.
INFJs don't manipulate, control, nor impose emotions on people. They only observe them from afar. They only want to understand them to help maintain harmony. They see people as being overly emotional, and changing their emotions is not worth the risk of potentially breaking harmony. They’d push back only if they feel like they’re forced to, like if they see people being immoral or unethical. Breaking Fe moral/ethical values is a cardinal sin.
You can see how Fe looks very hard and static. It's a standard to meet. That can be stressful for INFJs. Many times they feel burnt out by people because they’re not obeying Fe Parent, whether that is the agreed social etiquette or what they believe it should be. Or they shy away from people who are emotionally unstable. Compare that to the ENTP’s playful Fe Child who is out there engaging with people's emotions, since it’s just “human attitude."
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